Nats Sign Homeschool Phenom for $1M
ENFIELD, MA — The Washington Nationals announced the signing today of Dana Prescott on his 18th birthday for a reported $1 million after a private workout for General Manager Mike Rizzo and Vice President of Scouting Doug Harris.
“It’s unusual for us to spend this much money on an amateur,” Rizzo said, “And, as you all know, I’ll be the first to admit when I’ve made a mistake, but this kid is the real deal.”
Prescott briefly pitched and played first base for Quabbin Regional High School in 2014 after his parents petitioned the local school board for what’s more commonly known as a Tim Tebow exception to allow the home-schooled student to participate in athletics.
In a late-March scrimmage against Nashoba Regional High School, Prescott is said to have struck out 21 batters while tossing a no-hitter over seven innings, which is the standard length of games in the Midland-Wachusett League.
“We realize he didn’t play much two years ago, but usually word of triple digits on the gun is enough to flood an area with scouts and cross-checkers,” Harris added. “Even if were just that one game, you’d think some other organization would have checked up on it.”
Prescott reportedly hit 100 m.p.h. the day after that game, according to QRHS coach Gil Greenwich, who says he asked the Town of Barre’s police department to take an hour off from writing speeding tickets on Rte. 122 and put the town’s chief source of income radar on his pitcher.
An undisclosed injury prevented him from appearing in the 2014 regular season. Prescott’s parents did not reapply for the waiver in 2015, and it is unknown if Prescott played anywhere else.
Besides the lightning arm and the light-tower power–he also went 4-for-4 in that game, homering three times lefthanded and once righthanded–there is also one other thing that makes Prescott unusual. He has an ugly girlfriend.
“We don’t quite understand it,” Greenwich said. “We know his vision is good because he hit everything we threw at him in BP, including the pitching machine turned up all the way to 11.”
“I don’t want to come off as sexist, ” Greenwich continued, “but usually the athletes in these parts end up with the cheerleader types, but his girlfriend? If her face was her fortune, she’d qualify for a tax refund.”
MLB officials said Prescott earned his GED last May, and in an unusual maneuver, formally declared for the Rule 4 Draft a year ago today. All 30 teams passed on him last June, which made him a free agent.
“We know we could have signed him for $1,000 and a plane ticket,” Rizzo explained. “But when I called the Lerners, they insisted on opening up the pocketbook to make sure he’d sign.”
It’s unknown where the young man, who’s listed at 6’3″ and 185 lbs, will play this year. Harris demurred on questions regarding his first minor-league destination.
“We’ll assign him to XST,” the Assistant GM said. “But you’ll be hearing from him soon.”
That’s a weird comment about the girlfriend. A tad inappropriate, or did I miss something here? Actually, everything about this is somewhat strange.
Good catch though, Luke.
Luke had me until the girlfriend comment. 🙂
Its clearly pretty sexist … beyond sexist clearly heading into Donald Trump territory. I wonder how the scout would feel if that lady happened to be his daughter?
Seriously, Trump seems to have changed the landscape even more than his mentor Howard Stern did as one of the first shock jocks. I guess we’ll be seeing more of this …
Oh, wait! April Fools Day. You got me.
Sheesh I forgot what day it is? Fooled me.
Heh. This is the first one I’ve seen today. Thanks.
Credit to Mike Rizzo for scouring the rule book. He must have known that the signing window was open for an extremely short time today, closing at noon.
My sources say he’s the next Sidd Finch.
Met fans are still holding out hope that Finch will replace Colon at the back end of their rotation. Ol’ Sidd never overcame the lubrication issues on his pitches, as I recall.
Good stuff, Luke!
I thinks it’s April 1st.
Back to farm kids
Lefty arms conversation extended
AA pitcher pool today vs Astros
Has Mills Borne Reynoso, Crownover
Thomas, And others.
Borque and Mooney in pool
Pirro.
Looks like Spann might ross today
I say again : Kelvin Guitirrez looks smooth
With leather @ 3 b
Blake Perkins is such a nice young kid
And yes DiNatale was part of his host
Recruitment @ ASU taking him in for lodging .
Very cool.
Chik fila then back to 1 pm scrimmage
Luke. I miss my dog down here . Lol
Spann and Lee …
Touche! I also didn’t get it until the ugly girlfriend lines. Great stuff.
I had a feeling this easy fools say story
The cops speed gun was a give away .
I thought the first quote from Rizzo was enough of a clue, if not the last quote. But then I threw in some Easter eggs… “flood an area” (3rd paragraph). The ugly girlfriend was the over-the-top line that if I hadn’t put in, it might have been taken for a legitimate post. The “100 m.p.h. the day” after was a reference to Steve DalkowskiJ, who most people also know was the inspiration for Nuke LaLoosh (read the story by Joe Posnanski).
The fact Dalkowski wore glasses was reason enough to scare the hell out of most batters.
100 mph prospect . . . sent to AAA. Gott and den Dekker sent out in the last cuts. Syracuse should start the season with a pretty strong squad.
AAron Barrett s beard giving a run for the money
Towards Werths beard for his own knome
Doll
With all due respect to options, if the Nats win the division I will feel better about Escobar netting no better than a AAA player. Let’s see how the closer duties are handled at ‘Cuse. Good to see that the retreads were the cuts today.
Yes
Luke next story for you
Rizzo signs my dog to Cuse contract
Lol